Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
