oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
