You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
