my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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