it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
