Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
