why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
