i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
