I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
