Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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