It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i think i just lost a toe
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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