I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
