1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
