all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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