I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Is Oprah even human
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
