So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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