dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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