best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
