im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
