and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
