Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
