i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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