my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
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Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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