wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
