Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
