Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize