Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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