you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
