I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
