Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
