HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
