I have demons in me.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
love makes seman taste better
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
