I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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