And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
