About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
