Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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