I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Someone shit on the floor
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
