What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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