I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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