There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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