I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
