his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
