talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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