rhymes with "ouble enetration"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
