Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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