Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I am one with the molecules
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
