WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
