he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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