i think i have two assholes
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
