I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
