Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
