Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
