Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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