I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I am one with the molecules
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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