Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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