he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize