tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
