I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
