I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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