well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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