he shaved USA in his pubs
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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