Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
