Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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