I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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