Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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