i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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