Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
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Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
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Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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