I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
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Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
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On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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