Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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